How to Spot a Ninja at the Beach.
The original name of this movie “Kevin McAllister is Creepy, Has No Soul, and Kills People” was not as marketable.
I predict this book will suck.
Gone But Not Forgotten
This is the memorial honoring all those that have had a bird shit on their heads.
Air it Out
“Danger!” is such a weird name for a circus.
Let Her Know
He went to Jared. I went to Blood Diamond.
Baby Keeper
Well, where do I keep my baby when I’m not using it?
Groundhog Day
“You better not stay out all night dranking. You hear me!? You’ve got to be up early in the morning.” - Groundhog’s Wife, February 1st
Bender
I just did a line of Oreos…and…I FEEL SO ALIVE!
Cobra Commander Hangin With the Fellas
“I was like,’What the hell is this?’ and she was like,’It’s just some clothes and things that I thought I could keep in that dresser drawer you don’t use.’ Guys I was freakin out. I mean literally freaking out. I was thinking,’Is she serious? Who does that? We’ve dated for two weeks. Two weeks.’…Destro…your head is made of metal. How have I never noticed that before? Literally made of metal….Anyways…um…what was I…oh yeah, so I don’t know. I like her, but I mean I’ve got a lot on my plate right now. Did you know the Joe’s tried to break in last night? Yeah. Got a call from security at 4:00 this morning. I know. Oh, my gosh. I’m so hungry. I think I’m going to get an Apple Fritter. Gettin a fritter. Oh, I’m such a cow.” - Cobra Commander
